Monday, 4 January 2016
The 3 Fundamental Changes is Modern Parenting
I got this status over the last 5 years since my son Eric Lassard, has started to show entrepreneurial spirit signs.
It was a hell of a ride with amazing, heartbreaking moment, lots and lots of learning, conquering fear and crying in the pillow but smiling next day. It was a journey where I learned a lot, lost and conquered so much.
How this all started is a very usual story. When my son was born, I was considered a late mother as I was 38 years of age. I already had n 18 years old daughter, a divorce and all that is coming with this happening.
So, I took everything, literally everything from the beginning not before looking back and analyzing what went wrong the first time. After giving a good review to my past, I decided that the most important learning is that I need to completely change my educational patterns as with my first born our relationship was very far of even being normal. No, it was not because of the divorce that our relationship was broken. I t would be easy to say so, but I knew it was not true.
I knew that, even though I was all my life self-employed and I managed to raise up my kids without grandparents or any familiar help I knew that the fundamental things are needed to be changed here.
So what are the fundamental changes to entrepreneurial parenting?
TRUST VS LOVE
Now you might be shocked by this above statement but it is really the most important change, trust me.
We all love our children, that is no question about it, this is just normal and natural feeling that comes to the most of the parents when we talk about their children. This love keeps us going on endless nights, early mornings at crisis times, at good times, at proud times. And it is a good until we do not confuse love with protection.
We have to understand that we can not protect our children, or we can for a very short time only. What we need to do is to build up TRUST.
Be very careful TRUST only works if there is a mutual trust. Love can be one sided. I can love you, you do not have to love me back. But TRUST is something different. It is working only when both sides are in the game at the same level.
I had this topic debated thousands if not more times live and on social media where parents were debating how far can you trust a child at the different ages. You see, this is the main point: we do question our kids trust level and they do not question ours.
So, we need tp change from TELLING to our kids what to do in SUPPORTING them in what they love to do
TELLING VS SUPPORTING
You see, when I was a child I was great at literature, languages, history and was not so good at maths, physics. So my parents sent me to extra curriculum private classes at great math teachers. The results I became, even more, worse and frustrated at maths and I lost a lot of time not having the time to study what I loved. So when my first born was struggling in the same way, I did not sent her to maths, but instead I encourage her to do more drawing that she loved, so she became better and better at this, and then she started playing more and more with numbers and she definitely could do her maths and stayed happy.
So lesson learned when my second child showed any sign of unhappiness, I asked him why and I also asked him what would he love to do instead. I always supported what he love to do, and yes, we always achieved the great result at the end.
LISTEN VS SPEAKING
Yes, it might be hard, but we do need to learn to listen what our children are trying to tell us. We need to encourage them to have the courage and the wisdom to tell openly what they feel and think. The only way is to listen, and I mean it at the highest level. Really listen. If you listen to kids from a very very young age and they will know that you paid attention to what they say, well I can promise you: you have the key for a beautiful and harmonious life as long as you and your children are alive.
I hope that by sharing this with you will take away a few ideas and yes there is never too late to start to TRUST, SUPPORT, AND LISTEN to your kids.
Would be happy to know your thoughts so please feel free to comment and email us.
Please feel free to check out my work at http://www.abracadabracreativeschool.com and join the movement of changing education at http://www.kidsedu.socialgo.com
Trusting that this article will support you in your everyday parenting and looking forward to listening at your feedback
Mummager, Entrepreneurial Parenting Adviser, Author, NLP trainer, Holistic Therapist, Co-founder: Abracadabra Creative School, Asck Theater and trusting Mum.