The 5 Fundamentals of Modern Parenting

It is all parents aim to be the best parent they can be.

But parenting has changed, children changed, the world changed.

I am now in my 50, and still remember how I was raised and how my brothers and sisters and cousins were: newborn babies were isolated for the first six weeks. quit, sterile white rooms, protecting the baby from noise and pollution. Babies tied up in big pillows, legs straightened and silence all around.  Till their christening only very close family could see or visit them. 

Thank to the 70 hippies who liberated a little on this "expectations"  exposing their babies to their community earlier and freeing the children from the baby pillows. This practices all were forgotten soon as the white sterile rooms idea has the change to exposing the babies to the "messy" out word to gain immunity and socializing from the very beginning of their life.

So, there you go by the 90 babies were born into the daily lives, mums went to work earlier or became stay at home Mums, traveling with babies became easier and many products were invented to ease the parents and babies life.

So many things were changed but did parenting rules changed along with them? Did we ever actually upgrade on the parenting rules or we just liberated and forgot some that were uncomfortable for us?

Who is a good parent; the strict one, the allowing one, the loving one?

The strict one, who still believes that the only way to raise successful kids is by demanding that only parents can know better and expecting their children to live after their rules entirely?

The allowing one, who allows their children entirely to choose and behave as they want, allowing any agreeing all behai=vior saying that this is the only way the can gain life experience?

The loving one. who in the name of love, and in the fear of being not loved by their kids are allowing and fulfilling all expectations of their kids at all prices?

In the meantime, all life factors are changing so fast, communication inside and outside families had been changing so quickly, and parenting has become challenging. 

The freedom of expression and to an opinion has a significant impact, exposing our family live on social sites where we open our bedroom and kids room doors, and people can take a look in our everyday life without picking on the key hole, but they can get information  directly and with our agreement.

All operational system around us had been upgraded, but did we ever upgraded our parenting programs?

What kidn of parent is the 21th Century parent?

I had the fantastic luck to be parent of a child born in the 80 just before the iron curtain felt down.

I admit today that I used to be a very confused parent. Struggling with my first child between the strict, allowing and loving parenting styles I did not very well. I kind of blew it up.  Looking back today I know this.

Now, with my second born in the bloom and gloom of technology of the year 2003 and growing up in the world of apps and techno tools new challenges and a completely new vision of what a parent is for.

My second child is a real cyber child, and yes I know that many of you reading this will immediately challenge my new parenting methods. 

He discover the world of technology and using this in everyday life since he was 7.years of age.

He learned through technology reading, maths, science. He leanred and studied and his tutor was Google.

Ask Google, he says if you have a question that nobody can answer. 

"Google knows everything! "

Just before you roar up, OK this is to much I ask you to honestly answer this question: was there ever that you type something in Google and Google did wrote back: I do not know?

No, Google has millions of answers to all our questions, all we need to develop is the ability to choose the right answer for us.

And there is the same with parenting. We can be choose our way of parenting today form the hundreds of trends around the world, it is our decision which way we go. 

And freedom is sweet and good but freedom also can create confusion.

I meet many confused parents everyday. 

Her below I had collected the most frequent questions that I receive:

Should we allow the kids to use technology form a very young age?

What is the optimal screen time?

How can we protect our children online?

What is the best schooling; the classical or the e learning?

How to communicate with our kids all buried n games and social media?

Who should we listen; our kids or parenting advisers?

When kids do not perform well in school is this the fault of the teachers. the system or os there something wrong with my child?

Should I buy my kids the latest technology tools or should I still buy the a ball and send them out to the backyard to fresh air?

Should I look for alliterative education or the classical style will be always the good basics for life?

Should my child have the freedom to choose or should I make the choice and always have the last word in decisions?

Gathering together the last 30 years studies, knowledge, research and personal parenting experience here are the 5 most important things that will allow you to became a great  life companion for your kids.

1. Be proactive.

2. Your kid can know better.

3. Talk openly and engage conversation with your kids.

4. Your dreams and expectations are not your child dreams and expectation.

5. Never say NO! Explain the why not.

So, let me know what are your thoughts about the above 5 and follow up my blog as in the next 5 will be about working out each of these above so you can understand better and offering you some kid of guidance and comfort.

What will you adopt and what is working for your and you and your family? Well that is and always be your choice! 

Be the magnificent parent behind the success of your kid and enjoy the blessings of every moment of the celebration!

Abracadabra to you!

Katy Winner

Parenting Expert, Author and Mummager 

Follow us on FB, twitter and of course join the world first social platform about changing education KidsEduPro!

Happy Mothers Day!

Dear Mums, 

Today is the day when here in Ireland we celebrate Mum. I never understand and I still do not understand why this day is on different dates around the world, but this is not the point today.

Today is the day to you. You expect to be spoiled, you expect flowers and treats and full attention, And yes you should! We deserve this! It is just more than fair that there is one day all year around when we should be looked after like never before.

I agree, but then I disagree!

I do not agree because I do not like one-day celebrations! 

I want every day to be a celebration!

What is from today we will not expect the next mothers day to be spoiled and pampered but we celebrate every day?

So my message for this year Mother`s Day is simple; be a Mum that brings support and celebration in everyday life! 

Be excited, be happy and be the Mum you always wanted to have or be!

Do not expect flowers and chocolate, give flowers and chocolate!

Try it this year the other way!

Try it for a year every day to be glamorous, beautiful and great Mum that you always wanted to be!

Celebrate!

"Mothering"  has changed so much in the last decade. Did we changed also?

Today is the day, maybe you take a few moments and look over your family and kids and notice what is happening around you.

Today is the day when you can ask yourself: am I doing well as a Mother?

I know one thing: if you listen to your heart and you act by your soul you must be doing all well. 

I am sure you do!

Celebrations are actually a moment that we can and should stop for a moment;take a deep breath, relax and reload.

Have an amazing day!

Everyday!

Abracadabra to you !

Katy WInner

Parenting Expert, Author and Mummager

Abracadabra Parenting - I create what I say

http://www.abracadabracreativeschool.net/index.html

Just in case, you do not know by now, or if you know let me remind you what Abracadabra means.

Abracadabra means in Hebrew: I create what I say!
"The word Abracadabra may derive from an Aramaic phrase meaning "I create as I speak." ^[1] or from the Greek "Αύρα κατ' αύρα" meaning "from Αura to Aura". This etymology is dubious, however, as אברא כדברא in Aramaic is more reasonably translated "I create like the word." In the Hebrew language, אברא translates as "I will create" and כדברא "as spoken". 

Abracadabra School was founded two years ago also in February, on a cold winter evening when Eric was studying on the internet and he came across the explanation of Abracadabra.
My son was studying magic and magic tricks at that time.  
He was very interested in magic, and he had studied online and on youtube and loved this topic. So, when you learn about magic, inevitably you will come across the word Abracadabra! 
On that evening finding the meaning of the word Abracadabra, was more than just a mere learning.
He came out to me in the kitchen, and I could saw on him that he is extremely excited about something.
"You know what magic is ?" he asked me and without even giving me the chance to answer he continued: magic is nothing else but; preparation, practice, and delivery! You can do anything in life all you have to do is prepare, practice, and deliver at the right time to the right place!
I have to say that when I heard this suddenly had the same feeling that he must had: this is why we say life is magic. as life is nothing else just preparing your tomorrow, your future, practicing and delivering!
So, as simple as that we got to the conclusion that our Winner Academy school should be renamed; Abracadabra School, the school where you create what you say! 
A school where:
you learn the importance and power of your thoughts
where you can practice 
 learn that failure is the essential part of the process
learn to deliver to give the world your work, to deliver your results in a way that makes other people happy and contributes to their life.
learn to create your life and emotions and not allow life and emotions to create you
If you are a parent, just give yourself s few moments and think about this; do you build your life or are your emotions are making it?
If you come to the realization, just like I come at that moment, that all those emotions are mostly guiding my life, so maybe now is the time than to change this.
Not only change this but practice it with your children
Wake up from tomorrow and just change the things around. Instead of letting the feelings like, fear insecurity lead your life, step over them do what you believe that you have to do to conquer and manifest the feelings and emotions that you would love to feel and create.
Do not only believe, but also know!
Know that whatever it is there in your heart and gut are only emotions that are other peoples finds mostly, and you will not know what are these until you do not do and feel.
It takes less than a moment, start with a small insecurity and once you will see and feel the change there will be no return! 
Just prepare /what you want to change/ practice, you might not succeed first so remember you are practicing and than....deliver! Do it, feel it and know it!
I promise you will now understand what is the difference when you know!

Would it be just great if your kids would grow up by learning from a very young age to be magicians of their life? 

Would it not be awesome that your children would know that it does not take anything else to do anything in life but always the same 3 step; preparation, practice and deliver!
This is what is all about at Abracadabra School and Ask Theatre; we learn together the magic of creating emotions and living a happy life: this is nothing else but Emotional Intelligence, being smarter with feelings!

Next stop where you can meet us is Woolly's Wards Farm with our Valentines Story Party and the opportunity to visit and have fun on the farm! Good news is; it is a weather proof event! No matter what just bring warm clothes, hope in your wellies and come along and let`s have a great Sunday Afternoon! 
Please book  in your tickets at
http://www.woolywardsfarm.com/eventlist/?2/2016/28

to avoid disappointment!

If you are not around Dublin, feel free to write us here at abracadabraschool@gmail.com and tells us where we should come to meet you anywhere in the world!

Abracadabra to you!
Katy Winner&Abracadabra Team
Parenting and emotional intelligence coach 

PS; Go to our FB PAGE and like, comment and share so to be in the chance to WIN one CHILD+ADULT ticket for the Party!
Best of luk and see you there!

What is Love?

A few years ago on a lazy Sunday morning my little son only five years of back then, asked me this question: What is Love?

At first, it seemed a very easy question to answer.

"-What is Love? Love is what we feel when we like somebody very much." 

"-Just as you like me? was immediately the next question. 

"-Yes, just as I like you! 

" What if we do not like somebody, can we still love them?" -it was the next question that arose.

So, from a question that I thought it is very simple to answer, we already were involved in so much more deepness of the conversation.

The big issue is I presume; can we love somebody without like them?

What do you think? 

Well it took me many many years to realize that love, love is something that we are born from and we are born with.

Did you ever saw a new born baby looking at its Mum and do not like her or not looking at her with that profound and subtle look of Love that only babies can have?

So, is it love associated with likeness? Do we need to like who we love and do we love all that we like?

Well,  is hard to have a philosophical chat on a Sunday morning with five years old.

At that moment,  I had not a clue about the next questions that followed.

"Will you always love me? " was the next question

"Even if I will get married to another girl than you?" just like all five years old boys would get married their Mum

"Will you love me if I will die?"  , scary and tuff question for a Sunday morning 

" What if I will have a brother or sister, will you love them more?"

Little by little we went into questions that I realised that are not originally coming from my child. SO I asked him back;

"What do you think what is love?"

" Love is like a sun; he replied very seriously.  It is cozy... and you feel well and safe, and it is funny and thickly as you always need to laugh! "

" Where you feel all this?" I asked my young philosopher 

" Here inside, and he pointed to his tummy, you know where the butterflies live !" 

" So love lives inside you?" I asked curiously

" Yes, yeah, yeah, come the proper answer, you are love! "

" I am?"

"Yes, we all are, can you not see it?" came the unexpected question.

" Sometimes not, I replied, sometimes a meet people who I do not feel that are full of love." - I said and before my eyes, I could see the faces of few persons in the past that I had the problem loving.

" Hahahhaha, laughed  my young philosopher, if love lives inside you then why are you looking for it in others people ?"

I was not prepared for this!

I was not ready to receive my biggest lesson about life and love from my five years old, but the words hit me, and I knew that this is the truth!

Was I looking for love in other people heart all these years?

Yes, I was.

" Hahahahaha, laughed my little one, it is like when we play hide and seek with little kids, and we pretend that we do not know where they are, just to play around and make them feel well! 

From this Sunday morning conversation, my life had changed a lot. 

I know now the definition of love: crazy little colorful butterflies that live inside you and make you feel safe and happy. Love lives inside me and not in other peoples heart.

That is all about Love!

Many years since then, I still smile whenever I hear people asking: I wonder does he/she love me?

All I ask them and I ask now you: do you love her/him? 

Love is a reflection, the reflection of you!

Do not chase butterflies, fill up your heart with love so butterflies will come and stay with you.

So send your colorful cards, share your hugs and feel the Love, the Love that you are!

Happy Valentines!

We Love You

Katy Mummager and the Abracadabra& StoryBus Team

PS; Join us at our Valentines Story Party Sunday 28th of February at Wooly Ward`s Farm  pwncil it in and you can book in on Wooly Wards`s Farm Website.

Places are limited so hurry to secure your places!

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Is Self Talk Healthy?

Around age five, most people begin "self-talk" -- literally, they start talking to themselves either out loud or silently. 

While essential to language development, self-talk is also critical to moral reasoning. 

Sometimes we discourage it in ourselves or children, but we should do the opposite.

So, yes your kids are ok when they "self- talk" and you should encourage them by practicing it yourself too.

Self Talk is a crucial tool for developing emotional intelligence. You need to practice positive self-talk every day, just as much as you would need to brush your teeth every day!

Kids will practice a positive -self-talk, and if you hear them speaking otherwise about themselves it means that you urgently need to have a talk with them, to see if they are just copying anyone or they are genuinely thinking this about themselves. 

As a parent, you need to set the example, so you need to be very careful how you refer to yourself.

And you know what: positive self-talk can only serve you too!

Here are a few things self-talk can do for you:

1. Give yourself a shout out. Even if no one else seems to be appreciating you at the moment, compliment yourself on the way you handled a difficult situation, left your comfort zone for a new adventure, or just got through a busy day.
2. Give yourself a pep talk. We could all use a motivational speaker from time to time, but we don’t always have one handy. Self-talk can help you motivate yourself to achieve a goal at work, in a relationship, or in your personal behavior.
3. Debate both sides of a difficult decision. Saying your options out loud and elaborating on the pros and cons can help bring the right choice to light, and you might be surprised at the unexpected direction your thoughts take when they’re audible.
4. Blow off steam. If you’re not the type to confront people who tick you off, talk to yourself about how they bother you or how unfair a situation is. Introverts are especially prone to missing opportunities to assert themselves. Put the “self” back in self-assertion.
5. Understand you thoughts better.Sometimes we’re sure we think one way, but our psyche tells us differently. Have you ever found yourself crying when you didn’t think anything was wrong? That’s your subconscious letting you know. Invite it to join your conversation to bring you to new levels of self-awareness.
6. Boost your memory.Research shows that saying the location out loud when you place an object will help you remember where you put it.
7. Shake off stress and anxiety. Who couldn’t use one more way to get rid of stress? Work it through with a monolog.

You might find difficult every morning to get yourself an actual pep talk, so here is a link that you can follow and every morning al you have to do is only to repeat along and breathe for 2 minutes with Eric Lassard, our positivity expert.

Since two years Eric is sending thousand of people an email at exactly 8 am and gives great pep talk for the present day.

The best part is that you and your family can listen in the way to school, it is not dangerous while driving, /except do not close your eyes just breathe /at breakfast or whatever you are doing around 9 am each mornings! 

LISTEN IN:https://soundcloud.com/ericthegamechanger

and if you want to receive it every  morning directly into your inbox then subscribe at: http://eepurl.com/by2H-v

So, please share with us your thoughts about self-talk and how you kids use this precious tool.

We are looking forward to hearing from you!

Wishing you an incredible week "talk yourself in" happiness!

Katy Winner

Your Devoted Emotional Intelligence Expert

PS; If you are around Dublin and Ireland come along to our shows and workshops.

See details; http;//www.abracadabracreativekids.net

Like us on FB and follow us on Twitter!

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What is in your Lunch Box?

We had a great start of the year as we already wrote that we began with a sabbatical of 20 / before Christmas and ending it on the 11th.
We loved the time that we spent by reading, googling and preparing the new programs for this amazing upcoming year.

As we were close to Limerick we decided to visit an old friend and Facebook Pal of us, that we had known now from years.
We met Colm O `Brien more than five years ago at a self-development meeting and then as we shared the same interests like business and self-development so kept meeting at different events.

After Abracadabra School was open, we even realize that we are in the same area of working as we bring a new way of education and Colm with his Carambola Kidz company is bringing awareness and healthy food in the kids and parents life.
So, being so close to Limerick we had contacted Colm, and he was very generous with his time, and we met in a rainy, windy, stormy Wednesday afternoon.
Now, we were prepared to see something great like business as we heard and followed the path of Karambola now from years, but we were not aware and prepared for what we not only seen, but what we experienced down at the company premises.
As you already know Abracadabra School we are all about nourishing the body and the soul of the next generation, we are willing to promote happiness and health for parents and kids.
We are dedicated to inspire and help families to raise their expectations and standards and only to accept the very best for their members. It is a confusing full of temptations world out there, it is a busy time, and we are busy parents.
We are the first generation of parents who are not able to promise and predict an exact future for their kids. Until now there was a scenario / born, for to school get great grades, get a job, work, make a family, retire/  what life as should be. Not anymore! Now we need to change all this as there is much more out there, there is a fast pass of change, and there is so much pressure that we need help and guidance in even with what to feed and how to feed our kids.

Yes, we do! It is not anymore about the food we buy, most people can afford to buy food, It is not anymore about the quality of the food but mostly is important; what it is in it and can we trust the source?
There are more obese children and diabetic and cancer patients children that ever before in history. Does this ring a bell to you?

Every day we face information that big brands and company had broken their promises and added sugar and boosted their foods and products with ingredients that are not quite acceptable.
I can hear you asking; alright what to do then, we can not isolate ourselves and our kids,
so ...?
No, we can not, but what we can is to use products that we can check on, products that have more than a promise; they have integrity and ethos.



This is what we found at Carambola Kidz: spotless hygiene, but like from the scratch to bottom, from the dressing rooms till the office and production line, corridors everywhere.
 Relaxed and happy people all around. Working together, smiling and communicating in a way that you can feel and see they love what they do. When the Big Boss, Colm was around nobody attitude had changed. They all do this as they believe in their work and love it, not to please and please not the"boss."
There are no loud words, expect good laugh, and there are no mistakes.
Technology is used to make sure that there are no mistakes at all in what get into the launch box, and it never happened in the history of the Carambola Kidz that a lunch was not delivered, or the order was mixed up.
It was just about the end of the day when we were there, and the focus and dedication were the same; everybody had a single goal: the lunch for the next day had to be delivered on time and perfect.  As they aways do!

All we felt was respect and admiration towards Colm and the Carambola Kidz.
Going into schools, and meeting many parents we always hear about what should I pack for lunch topic and also the time that we spend shopping arouT

Very busy parents who just might give money to their kids to enjoy the meal they want and all this is right, but still an excellent lunch in school is needed.
School Lunch is the power Lunch of the day!

If you're so lucky that you live in Ireland then why not check out Carambola Kidz website and get in touch with them and lay back and know that your kids lunch was just perfect!
If you are living in another country and you have or want a similar business, ask  for Colm expertise in how to do it!

If all this above did not convince you, well then I highly recommend you the book  "Feeding Johny" and extraordinary adventure of how passion, dedication, and love brings to extraordinary results.

The 3 Basic Emotions That Defines our Lifes

Yes, it is already the second week of the year 2016.
Hope you are all well and by now you are in full swing in creating amazing adventures and experiences that make you and your kids to grow and learning to be fun.

Here are the 3 most common "emotions" that can stop us from achieving our goals and stops us from having fun and happy life.

There are ony emotions, emotions that we create.

Here at Abracadabra we learn together how to create emotions instad of letting emotions ruling our lifes.

So for example: if you happen to get angry , well your behavier might anoy people around you and than things can escalade. So this is when emotions take over.
What oif you learn how to create your emotions, to be in charge so you create emotions like: confidence, happines and joy?

How does it sound?
You might say....well I wish it was so easy.....and I say: IT IS!

There are 3 basic emostions that are in charge mostly about how our day are going.

Let`s see how can we master them and what are the opposite feelings that we need to create instead.


#FEAR VS #FEARLESS


Dictionary defines fear as
"an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm."

When I was a child, I grew up mostly with my Granny. She was and the amazing cook, amazing in looking after our health and safety, but she was terrified every moment of the day. She was aways worrying that there is no bread enough, and the shop will close before dinner, that what she cooked we might not like, that we get lost on the way to school, that we might get sick and so and so on. So I grew up mostly worrying,  and I would not say frightened, but pretty insecure.I felt insecure even though I had awesome school mates; I loved to go to school, and I would like to participate, to travel and to discover new things. 
I had to realize later in my 30 `s that this insecurity program had delayed or stopped me from many things that I had not achieved and done.  I was now conscious that I have to liberate myself from fear. So I started studying fear. 
After trying to treat my fear with many techniques, one day I come to a realization. It is scientifically proof that dogs can smell that we are afraid. Do you agree?

So, one day, I realized that fear is nothing else than a chemical reaction in our blood that is triggered by different memories and believes that we had collected over the years. The triggers that activate the fear are not even ours, most of the times.
Once that I acknowledge that fear is just a chemical reaction in my blood that is activated by triggers, that are not even mine and it is just like a gas that will paralyze my body and mind I could consciously act:  instead of letting this gas flood my veins and blood I will start to feel up my veins and blood with pure oxygen! How can I do this? Easy: breath deeply breath in and out and blew my imaginary or real feather as far as possible I can, So, by this my mind and body deeply relax, defocused from the fear and panic and focusing on my feather, peace and security will return and all my fears will literally fly away.

Does it work? Oh, yes it is!

SInce than we learned with hundreds of kids, who still have at home the "magic feather" and they can keep it all times with them and when ever fear come with the help of the magical feather will transform it into fearlesness!

Because, you know magic is nothing else: just preparation, practice and delivery! 


#ANGER VS #CALM 

If we do not conguer fear at the begining we will notice shorthy that will lead to anger.
What is anger?
Anger is coming from the fact that we feel powerless in front of doing certain things or bringing our willing to others attention.
Anger is exactly how it is sometimes graphically figured: a little red devil with a fork in his hand and punching everyone around. You woud belive that you have fun being angry, but soon you will figure out that there is no fun in being angry.
So, what is to be done than?

Well, just in case you got angry, next time you better be prepared.
Now, you know that we just said above that this "little devil has a fork" and it is pithing all around with it? This is what you do also, when you are angry: you say ugly words, things that you do not even mean and also you shout and sometimes maybe you just hit and punch.
So, next time remeber: when you are angry well that is not you! It is the ittle devil and has nothing do with you. When you see him ready to attack, better pinch yourself on your hand, just to check that  you are not the little devil. If it is hurts a ittle bit, you see, it is you and you have nothing to do with ANGER.
So, instead of getting in trouble better sing:
Anger, anger go away
Anger, anger stay away
and than blew , blew , blew until you notice all your anger disapiered!

Now how fun is this?
You will notice after a few blows that you are calm and more calm.....and things wil just keep going on a happy way!

#SAD VS #HAPPY
This is the most easiest to transform SADNESS IN HAPPINESS!

The secret is again: that you and only you, and you ony who can decide what you want to feel.
As if you decide to be unhappy, sad there is nothing nothing that can change this unless you are willing to change it.
Change can be difficult, it is challenging and sometimes we do not even know where it  comes from.

So next time you feel sad, there is a simple very very simple way to get over it.

Just find a mirror, stand in front and ....smile! Yes, you see we make the most funny faces when we try to smile and we are not willing to do this. Keep doing this funny smiing faces until you will burst in laughing and tha.......sadness is over, welcome happiness!

You see, emotions can be handle if you know that they are only temporary, you know that they are not you and where they come from and most of all you know the "mgic tricks" to make them go away.

So, I encouarage you to use this tools with your kids, family and maybe students and let us know about the miraculos transformations that you achieved.

If you want to practice with us, well you are welcome to join in our workshops and interactive stories, adventure.

You can find out what we are up to at :
http:// www.abracadabracreativeschool.net
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Create yourself beautiful emotions!

Your devoted
Katy Winner
Abracadabra & Story Bus Team

PS: We have a gift for you: a story for your bedtime!
Click on the Link! Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBDtmCI4ywo




















BOREDOM